One year ago...

I am sitting here in disbelief that time has gone by so quickly. Exactly one year ago, I had known that the next day would bring the birth of my first child (I had just found out that day that the c-section would be the following day), and although I was running around like a mad woman trying to get all the last minute things done, I can admit that I was in denial-or perhaps just unaware that life was about to change forever.

Change is good. In this case, change has been transcendent. Motherhood has surpassed any possible expectations I may have had, and Caden has brought with him a whole new realm of happiness and hopefulness that morphs and grows, day by day, just as he does.

He is the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on.

The other day I had a revelation. I was thinking about fate, and there being reasons for life unfolding in the way it does. I'm unsure as to whether I believe that our lives or events are pre-destined, but sometimes I do feel like things from our past have often prepared us for what lays ahead, however we may not fully realize it unless we reflect upon the past. I guess if you've seen "Slumdog Millionaire" you kind of know where I'm going with this...

Anyway, back to my revelation. I was thinking about how I was in my late teens and early twenties, as far as schooling/career path goes. I remember at the time thinking that although I was a good student in the sciences, I didn't really find myself passionate about any particular area, so as per my teachers' advise, I went to University for a Bachelor of Science. About half way through my second year I was really hating it, but I couldn't stand the thought of wasting two years for nothing, so I decided to just hurry up and finish my degree in 3 years. After graduation I still had no clue what to do, so I spent the next two years working to support myself and also try to pay down some of the student loans. During that time I tried to figure out what I should be doing with myself, and I'll say now that I kind of "fell" into Nursing School. I figured it was likely a secure job, or at least would provide me with some transferable skills so that work would be easy to come by. I also thought that I would be putting to use at least some of my science background and felt that maybe the BSc. would come in handy, thus not just a useless piece of paper and pile of debt. So off to school I went for another 4 years.

Fast-forward to the present day, and I have now been a Nurse for 5 years.

This is where the revelation comes in...

Perhaps all of that "useless" training; all of the schooling and knowledge gained through haphazardly stumbling through life, the decisions based on natural affinities for certain subject matter-perhaps it was all just preparation?

Preparation for the arrival of a son who was born with unique challenges, a son who would benefit from someone who could speak the language, do the research, understand the science, ask the questions and above all, advocate for the best possible care.

It's like I was made for him. No, I think that it's actually the other way around. I think he was actually tailor made for me-for us. We just had to put in the work first. The preparations may have taken a while, the path may have been winding, but we arrived exactly where we needed to be at the right time to meet our boy, our Caden.

Like I said before, change is good. And because of this particular change-the birth of our son-I am reborn.
 
I love you Bubba :)